


Walking Out Of The Underworld

by Angel Ascending (angel_in_ink)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Feelings, Holding Hands, Hugging, Just Two People Talking On The Way Home, M/M, Spoilers for Episode 159
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-07 02:22:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21207515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel_in_ink/pseuds/Angel%20Ascending
Summary: It turns out that the way out of the Lonely is long, if you haven’t been sent there by an avatar of the Forsaken. Leaves you with plenty of time to talk.





	Walking Out Of The Underworld

It turns out that the way out of the Lonely is long, if you haven’t been sent there by an avatar of the Forsaken. For Martin it had been instantaneous. One second he had been standing between Peter and Elias, or Peter and _Jonah _he supposes and the next there had only been the sound of the ocean and the gentle, numbing embrace of the fog, everything grey and soft and—

Martin squeezes Jon’s hand ever so slightly, feeling the warmth of it, the soft ridge of a scar crossing his palm. Jon had taken Martin’s hand after saying that he knew the way home, and has not let go since.

_This is real_, Martin thinks. He’s been telling himself that the whole time they’ve been walking and it still doesn’t seem possible. He’s _seen_ Jon, utterly and truly, has held him and cried on his shoulder, has had his hand taken as Jon had smiled at him in a way that Martin has only dreamed of. _This is real_.

“How _did_ you get this scar?” Martin asks suddenly. “No one _accidentally _stabs themself with a bread knife, Jon.”

Jon lets out a low, embarrassed chuckle. “That— that wasn’t one of my better lies, was it?”

“It wasn’t. I mean—“ Martin rubs at the back of his neck with his free hand. “I can usually tell when you’re lying anyway, but that one was particularly bad.”

“You can tell?” Jon gives Martin a sideways glance. “Is it something in my voice or—“

“There’s this muscle in your jaw that twitches when you’re lying,” Martin says. “It was just— something I noticed, after a while.”

“Like how when you’re worried but you’re trying to be reassuring, your smile goes a little crooked on the left side?”

“It does?” Martin touches the left side of his face and smiles. It doesn’t feel crooked to him, but maybe that’s because he’s thinking about how he smiles now.

Jon chuckles softly. “It does. I—“ he sighs. “I missed you, when I came back to work. You were still _there_ but you weren’t, and there were all these little things that I hadn’t even noticed I’d noticed until they weren’t happening. Your footsteps in the hallway. The way you’d knock on my door and coax me out for lunch every so often. That little tune you hum when you’re making tea in the break room.”

Martin feels himself blushing. “It’s an easy way to time how long the tea needs to steep for.”

Jon smiles, and Martin realizes he’s seen Jon smile more during this walk than he has the whole time they’ve been working in the archives together. “Well I missed it. I missed _you_. I guess a part of me just assumed that there’d be time, that you’d always be around, waiting, and that was— a terribly selfish thing to think, and it hurt you. _I_ hurt you and I’m sorry.”

“It’s—“ Martin almost says it’s fine, it’s all right. That’s what you say when you don’t want to upset the other person, don’t want to make them feel bad. But Jon is being honest with him, and the reflexive white lie would be a betrayal of that. “It hurt, I won’t say it didn’t, but I also knew that you weren’t under any obligation to have feelings for me just because I had feelings for you.”

As soon as Martin says the words, a thought enters his mind. A question he doesn’t want to ask. He looked at Jon, _saw_ him, so he should know the answer already, he shouldn’t have to hear it, and what if Jon gets upset that he asked and—

“Jon, you _know_ you’re not under any obligation to return my feelings, right?” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop them. “You don’t owe me anything if—“

Jon stops walking and lets go of Martin’s hand.

_Well that’s it then_, Martin thinks as his blood goes as cold as the fog swirling around his feet. _It was nice while it—_

Jon steps in front of Martin and puts his hands on Martin’s shoulders. There’s a tremor there in those hands, and Jon’s eyes are overly bright with what can only be barely contained tears. He has to stand a bit on tiptoe to lean his forehead against Martin’s, but he manages it.

“Martin, the way I feel about you, I feel that way because you’re _you._ This isn’t about— loving you is not an obligation, you’re not a b-_burden—“_

Hearing Jon falter on that word, Martin thinks about his mother and wonders just who had hurt Jon in the past. His arms go around Jon for the second time that day, if days exist in the Lonely.

“I’m sorry,” Martin says softly, and he’s not apologizing for asking the question.

“You needed to hear it,” Jon says after a moment and a few shaky breaths. “And I needed to say it. There’s been so much I’ve been wanting to say.”

“It’s not too late,” Martin says, and finds himself smiling, because he’s said this before, hasn’t he? After Jon had returned from being kidnapped, before the Unknowing. It’s not too late. It’s still not too late.

“Unless the world ends,” Jon replies, finishing the sentence as he pulls away from Martin while taking his hand once more. “Which it hasn’t done yet.”

It still might, but Martin doesn’t think it will end _today._ It would be terribly unfair, for a start. “Then we have time,” Martin says as they begin to walk again. “And you still haven’t told me how you got that scar on your hand.”

Jon chuckles as they walk through the fog into an uncertain future, together, hand in hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone else remember Jon was raised by a grandmother who resented having to raise another child, because it hurts my heart, especially paired with Martin and his mother.
> 
> I'm angel-ascending on Tumblr and angel_in_ink on Twitter if y'all want to stop by and say hi!


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